Catch Phrases: What’s Yours?

We all have them.  We all use them. In fact, we seem to be surrounded by them.

Catch phrases.  Those little bits of verbiage that just seem to unconsciously (or consciously) slip into our speech and writing.

Some that I hear most commonly these days are:

  • At the end of the day…
  • Having said that…
  • The narrative (as in “they did not like the outcome of the poll, so they want to change the narrative”)
  • Optics (as in “the event did not look very good, so they worked hard to change the optics”)
  • Whatever (as in, well, whatever…)
  • Look (as in “Look: the only thing right about what you said is that it is wrong.”)
  • Let’s be honest (as if we usually are not!)
  • How are you?

And the list can go on and on.

Admittedly I have my own that slip right into my conversations and writing.  One of my favorites seems to be: “At all events.”  I suspect you will find me use that in this blog before you finish reading it.

The last one on the list seems to be a fall back for us all: “How are you?” or “How are you doing?”  More often than not it is an ice breaker or a conversation starter, but let’s be honest about it (!) we really don’t intend to get a straight answer from the person to whom we ask it, do we?  And usually the person we ask it to simply says ‘good’ or ‘fine’ and we move on.  Or not.  What comes next can be awkward at times.  The conversation can immediately become stagnant or cease to exist at all. 

Of course, if we just move on, we miss an opportunity to really connect with someone.   

Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn Ferry, and a contributor to CNBC, points out in a blog that successful people take this opportunity to turn catch phrases or ‘small talk’ into something more meaningful (“Stop asking ‘how are you?’ Harvard researchers say this is what successful people do when making small talk” CNBC.com March 7, 2019.  Read it here). 

Burnison writes: “…the key to making the most out of small talk, according to Harvard researchers, is to simply ask the other person follow-up questions. In a series of experiments, researchers analyzed more than 300 online conversations and found that those who were asked more meaningful follow-up questions (a.k.a. questions that aren’t “how are you?” or “what do you do?”), found the other person much more likable.”

Burnison suggests seven ideas on how to move deeper into a conversation with someone by avoiding the routine.

  1. “Use the A.C.T. trick to start a connection.”  Rather than ask “How are you” ask a question which meets Burnison’s ACT criteria:
    1. A-There is authenticity  
    1. C-There is a connection
    1. T-There is a topic that will give them a taste of who you are

Some examples he gives are “What’s your current state of mind?” or “What are you looking forward to this week?”

  • “Move beyond the ‘hourly update.’”  How often do we go from “How are you?” to a discussion about the weather or sports.  One of my favorites is “What time does your flight leave?” (how is that for a hint?).  Burnison suggests trying to focus instead on topics that are “more important and personal to you.”
  • “Be in the moment and observe your surroundings.”  Try focusing on something in the surroundings that is interesting “…like the piece of art on the wall, a quirky gadget or family picture on their desk, a race car helmet, scattered coins from various countries and so on.”  This approach can certainly take the conversation in a more personal direction and make a more direct connection.
  • “Share some news (that actually happened).”  Be authentic and personal.  “If you have ‘news,’ share it: ‘I adopted a pet over the weekend’ or ‘My 6-year-old rode a bike for the first time yesterday!’ Believe it or not, most people actually do want to know more about others, especially if they both work at the same company.”
  • “Talk early.”  This one threw me at first, but he makes a good point. By initiating a conversation, we can set the subject and break the ice without having to be glib about it.  Sometimes it is easy to just get ‘walked on’ in a meeting or conference call and this can help set the tone.
  • “It’s not just what you say.”  Here body language comes into play. Eye contact, smiling, and openness in general will make the other person feel more comfortable and help others connect with you.
  • “Make the pivot.”  This takes practice as at some point the conversation needs to turn to the subject at hand.  Asking “How are you?” and getting “fine” often makes the transition to the meat of the conversation awkward at best.  Take the clues you get from the other person, or let them make the first move, but pivot into the subject and don’t revert back to some subject not relevant.

I would also add to his list that it is very easy to fall into using catch phrases unconsciously if for no other reason than we have had them ingrained into us to sound more intelligent, or simply to buy time to come up with what we are going to say next.  At all events (see I told you so!), I know how hard that is to do, but fresh speech with infrequent use of ‘um,’ or frequent use of catch phrases, keep the listener engaged.  Sometimes just taking a pause before we speak instead of falling into a catch phrase helps craft a more conversational message.  This takes work and self-awareness but at the end of the day (!), who does not appreciate a more productive and substantive conversation?

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded innorthern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.

Gut Check Time! Do You Trust Yours?

“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.”

? Peter F. Drucker

“The straight line, a respectable optical illusion which ruins many a man.”  ? Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

We have become a data driven world.  Today decisions, especially those which are high risk, are increasingly based on ‘what the numbers tell us.’  Perhaps rightly so. We get so much input from so many sources that it is hard to simply sort it all out in our heads.

Data drives just about every business these days; even in sports this trend is obvious. Baseball has its “sabermetrics.”  So does football in its own way. In fact, just look at the number of teams using tablets on the sidelines, instead of paper, to get a better sense of what is happening on the field and make faster decisions.

Yet, hardly a Sunday goes by when I don’t hear one analyst or another say: “What they are doing is just not working…time for the (offense/defense—take your pick) to do a ‘gut check!’

A gut check.  That seems like kind of a quaint idea in this world of data, but how often have you felt your innards tighten up, perhaps your pulse rate increase and just have that sense that this is not the right decision even when all the data says it should be?

Writing in The Washington Post, reporter Ana Swanson reports on a new study which lends credibility to the belief that our ‘gut reactions’ can in fact be highly important factors in decision making.  In her article titled “Why gut feelings may really help you make risky decisions” she discusses a new paper on the subject published in “Scientific Reports”.  She reports that “These feelings, which result not just from a person’s gut but also their heart, lungs, bladder, bowels, skin and other organs, aren’t just random. They contain signals that tell people about their emotional states, including pain, anxiety and doubt, the researchers say. And some people are better at detecting these signals than others.”

The research was done in part by John Coates, a former derivatives trader in the financial services industry, who now does work as a neuroscientist.  He focused his research on a set of financial futures traders and a set of non-traders. Although the study size was small “…it supports a larger body of research suggesting that subtle physiological changes can aid people in making tough decisions.”

The long and short of the study was that the two groups were asked to count their heartbeats without directly feeling their pulse (read: listening to their gut).  The results showed that “…the traders were significantly better on average at counting than non-traders. The researchers also found that traders’ precision on counting their own heartbeats predicted their profit and loss record, and the number of years they had survived in the market.”

While data is critical to success these days, it does not have courage.  It does not have sensitivity.  It has no appetite for risk; or, as a balance to risk, common sense.  So, there is still a place in this fast paced, fact and data driven world for doing what our ‘guts’ tell us.

Why is this important to us at A. Alliance Collection Agency?  Because we still use our ‘guts.’  To be sure, data drives our business, too, but a debt is a debt that must be paid and we are highly tenacious when it comes to recovering a debt on behalf of our clients. Yet, we pride ourselves on a ‘compassionate approach’ to collecting, at least in the initial stages of the process.  We realize that debtors are people too and often a ‘gut feeling’ can produce better results using a compassionate approach rather than a heavy handed one right out of the gate.  The benefit to our clients is that we maintain a relationship with the debtor, and we are keenly aware that how we represent them reflects on them as well.  At A. Alliance relationships are key and a good ‘gut check’ can maintain them and improve our client’s results.

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.

 

Random Acts of Kindness to the Rescue

Is it just me or have you also noticed there are a lot of angry people out there? Everywhere I turn I hear and see people focusing on what’s wrong with the world, ranting about one thing or another. To make matters worse, I’ve recently noticed that I’m ranting about their rants! All this anger is making me angry.

I find it tremendously sad and disconcerting that feeling angry is so contagious. Luckily, do you know what else is very contagious? Random acts of kindness and feeling good.

I recently read an article in the Insider that talked about ten different people and their random acts of kindness that have gone viral on the internet. One of the stories was about a guy, Mark Chalifoux, who was accidentally added to a chat group that was talking about sending care packages to a family member serving overseas. Instead of ignoring the chat or replying wrong number he got involved and started a GoFundMe page to raise money to buy cookies for this serviceman and others in the unit. His genuine lighthearted gesture gained momentum and was promoted by celebrities on social media and picked up by news outlets. He ended up raising enough money to not only send 40 pounds of cookies, but also a second shipment containing nutritious snacks and toiletries to the soldiers.

Reading the ten stories not only bolstered my faith in humanity, but also my mood. I found myself craving more, so I did a Google search. Do you know what I found? There are lots of RAKs (Random Acts of Kindness) out there! There was even an article in Reader’s Digest about RAKs that changed people’s lives. And an organization that exists solely to promote RAK: Randomactsofkindess.org              There is also a Random Acts of Kindness Day.  This year it is on February 17th.

The thing is, anyone can perform random acts of kindness. And they don’t have to be life-changing to make a difference. I remember back in my early 20s when a coworker paid me a spontaneous superfluous compliment. It was such a little thing, but I remember how it made my day. It had such impact on me I’ve tried to pay it forward and compliment at least one person every day. And even though I haven’t been very good at doing it every single day, I’ve found that I get as much out of giving the compliment as the person gets by receiving it. Isn’t that a wonderful phenomenon?! So instead of focusing on what’s wrong with the world, maybe together we can make this world a better place to live—one random act of kindness at a time.

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.