Catch Phrases: What’s Yours?

We all have them.  We all use them. In fact, we seem to be surrounded by them.

Catch phrases.  Those little bits of verbiage that just seem to unconsciously (or consciously) slip into our speech and writing.

Some that I hear most commonly these days are:

  • At the end of the day…
  • Having said that…
  • The narrative (as in “they did not like the outcome of the poll, so they want to change the narrative”)
  • Optics (as in “the event did not look very good, so they worked hard to change the optics”)
  • Whatever (as in, well, whatever…)
  • Look (as in “Look: the only thing right about what you said is that it is wrong.”)
  • Let’s be honest (as if we usually are not!)
  • How are you?

And the list can go on and on.

Admittedly I have my own that slip right into my conversations and writing.  One of my favorites seems to be: “At all events.”  I suspect you will find me use that in this blog before you finish reading it.

The last one on the list seems to be a fall back for us all: “How are you?” or “How are you doing?”  More often than not it is an ice breaker or a conversation starter, but let’s be honest about it (!) we really don’t intend to get a straight answer from the person to whom we ask it, do we?  And usually the person we ask it to simply says ‘good’ or ‘fine’ and we move on.  Or not.  What comes next can be awkward at times.  The conversation can immediately become stagnant or cease to exist at all. 

Of course, if we just move on, we miss an opportunity to really connect with someone.   

Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn Ferry, and a contributor to CNBC, points out in a blog that successful people take this opportunity to turn catch phrases or ‘small talk’ into something more meaningful (“Stop asking ‘how are you?’ Harvard researchers say this is what successful people do when making small talk” CNBC.com March 7, 2019.  Read it here). 

Burnison writes: “…the key to making the most out of small talk, according to Harvard researchers, is to simply ask the other person follow-up questions. In a series of experiments, researchers analyzed more than 300 online conversations and found that those who were asked more meaningful follow-up questions (a.k.a. questions that aren’t “how are you?” or “what do you do?”), found the other person much more likable.”

Burnison suggests seven ideas on how to move deeper into a conversation with someone by avoiding the routine.

  1. “Use the A.C.T. trick to start a connection.”  Rather than ask “How are you” ask a question which meets Burnison’s ACT criteria:
    1. A-There is authenticity  
    1. C-There is a connection
    1. T-There is a topic that will give them a taste of who you are

Some examples he gives are “What’s your current state of mind?” or “What are you looking forward to this week?”

  • “Move beyond the ‘hourly update.’”  How often do we go from “How are you?” to a discussion about the weather or sports.  One of my favorites is “What time does your flight leave?” (how is that for a hint?).  Burnison suggests trying to focus instead on topics that are “more important and personal to you.”
  • “Be in the moment and observe your surroundings.”  Try focusing on something in the surroundings that is interesting “…like the piece of art on the wall, a quirky gadget or family picture on their desk, a race car helmet, scattered coins from various countries and so on.”  This approach can certainly take the conversation in a more personal direction and make a more direct connection.
  • “Share some news (that actually happened).”  Be authentic and personal.  “If you have ‘news,’ share it: ‘I adopted a pet over the weekend’ or ‘My 6-year-old rode a bike for the first time yesterday!’ Believe it or not, most people actually do want to know more about others, especially if they both work at the same company.”
  • “Talk early.”  This one threw me at first, but he makes a good point. By initiating a conversation, we can set the subject and break the ice without having to be glib about it.  Sometimes it is easy to just get ‘walked on’ in a meeting or conference call and this can help set the tone.
  • “It’s not just what you say.”  Here body language comes into play. Eye contact, smiling, and openness in general will make the other person feel more comfortable and help others connect with you.
  • “Make the pivot.”  This takes practice as at some point the conversation needs to turn to the subject at hand.  Asking “How are you?” and getting “fine” often makes the transition to the meat of the conversation awkward at best.  Take the clues you get from the other person, or let them make the first move, but pivot into the subject and don’t revert back to some subject not relevant.

I would also add to his list that it is very easy to fall into using catch phrases unconsciously if for no other reason than we have had them ingrained into us to sound more intelligent, or simply to buy time to come up with what we are going to say next.  At all events (see I told you so!), I know how hard that is to do, but fresh speech with infrequent use of ‘um,’ or frequent use of catch phrases, keep the listener engaged.  Sometimes just taking a pause before we speak instead of falling into a catch phrase helps craft a more conversational message.  This takes work and self-awareness but at the end of the day (!), who does not appreciate a more productive and substantive conversation?

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded innorthern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.

DMI (Debt Mass Index): Have You Checked Yours Lately?

Not long ago I went in to see my doctor for my annual medical checkup.  As usual, the intake nurse took my vitals including blood pressure, pulse, oxygen level, height and weight.  All good; a little high here, a little low there.  But good results nonetheless.

One thing that has thrown me the last couple years is that rather than discussing my weight, the doctor now refers more often than not to my BMI:  Body Mass Index.  BMI is not new, of course, but yet another way to asses whether or not our health is as good as it should be.

In the interests of candor, mine was a bit higher than optimal.  Yet I have come to find out that a lot goes into consideration of whether or not a particular BMI is good or bad for a particular person. If you exercise regularly, have blood pressure in the acceptable range, have cholesterol readings that are good and don’t smoke, a slightly high BMI is not much of a worry. 

At all events, it occurred to me that in the debt collection world there should probably be a corresponding measurement which our clients should use to ensure their debt waistlines don’t get out of control.

So, what is your DMI?  That is, your Debt Mass Index?

No, there is really not such a thing (at least until now!), but in this business, when debt gets out of control, belt tightening often comes too late.   So, it is important to stay on top of receivables, especially when the economy may be showing signs of critical levels of unsustainable debt.

So how tight is the belt of national household debt these days?

The Federal Reserve Bank of New York has recently released its final report for 2018, the fourth quarter, and once again debt has hit record levels. More importantly some types of debts are showing signs of reaching critical tipping points (read the press release here).

No doubt there is a need to put another notch in our debt belt.

  • For the 18th consecutive quarter, total household debt reached record levels. 
  • At the end of 2018, total household debt reached a massive $13.54 trillion.
  • That was an increase of $32 billion from the third quarter of 2018.
  • It is also $869 billion higher than the previous peak reached in the third quarter of 2008.

Some of the other highlights of the report include:

  • Warning signs about auto loan delinquencies:  Joelle Scally, Administrator of the Center for Microeconomic Data at the New York Federal Reserve said “Auto loan originations for 2018 reached an all-time high in our dataset…Despite auto debt’s increasing quality, its performance has been slowly worsening…Growing delinquencies among subprime borrowers are responsible for this deteriorating performance, and younger borrowers are struggling most acutely to afford their auto loans.”
  • Student loan debt continue to grow, now a whopping $41.46 trillion.
  • Credit card balances rose by $26 billion to $870 billion.  While the Fed notes this is in line with seasonal patterns, nonetheless this is the first time since 2008 that it has hit this peak.

Do we need to go on a ‘debt diet’?  So, it would seem. This level of debt is certainly not sustainable as the economy cools, as it eventually will. 

To some, the increasing delinquency in auto loans is the real warning sign.  Writing in the Washington Post (“Experts:  Late car loans a red flag for the economy”), Heather Long says that “Economists warn [auto loan delinquencies are] a red flag.  Despite the strong economy and low unemployment rate, many Americans are struggling to pay their bills.”  She points out that “A car loan is typically the first payment people make because a vehicle is critical to getting to work, and someone can live in a car if all else fails.  When car-loan delinquencies rise, it is a sign of significant duress among low-income and working-class Americans.”

This is not a good sign and may be a significant warning of things to come.

Given all this, how does your own debt belt feel these days?  Do you have a feel for your DMI and is it where you want it to be?

Figuratively speaking, we suggest our clients do a DMI check regularly.  That is, has your volume of receivables increased as of late?  How about dollar amount, and is your aging gradually creeping up?  Have you taken steps to turn over your past due accounts to us so that we can help keep that DMI in check? 

Stay debt fit and be sure to keep a close watch on your DMI!

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.

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Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother: What about ‘Thou Shall’ Don’t We Understand?

Let me be clear that this is not a blog about the Ten Commandments.  Yet, I think it is hard to argue that at the very least they can form a solid basis for good moral framework of our lives. 

Increasingly, it seems, many of us have forgotten the commandment to “Honor thy Father and thy Mother” and subject them to abuse–if not physically, emotionally or mentally, then financially—stealing literally billions of dollars each year through financial scams and outright theft.  What is the worst is that much of this outright theft is at the hands of the people they need to trust the most—their families!

Writing a commentary for CNBC (“Protecting yourself and loved ones from elder financial abuse”), Richard Behrendt, director of estate planning at Annex Wealth Management, writes that “Elder financial abuse is fast becoming the crime of the 21st century.” 

He cites some stunning statistics about the number of older Americans who have become victims.  Quoting a recent study by Metlife, 3.2 million Americans were the victim of elder financial abuse in 2014, representing a nearly $2.9-billion-dollar loss each year. 

Elder financial abuse, as Behrendt defines it, is: “…unauthorized, illegal or inappropriate use of an aging adult’s financial resources by a person in a position of trust.”  The abuse is broad based and crosses all boundaries—social, racial and economic.

Much of the increase in this type of crime is due to the increasing numbers of aging “baby boomers” and is “…largely a crime of opportunity.”  Judgement declines as we age and we become especially vulnerable if there are not adequate checks and balances to help us manage our finances.  Behrendt points out that the most vulnerable tend to be single adults who don’t have a spouse to keep things in perspective.

Yes, there are scams galore from outside sources including fake prizes or sweepstakes, the old “Nigerian Prince” scam, home improvement scams, claims of a grandchild in distress, and even romance scams from online dating services or chatrooms.

The most common and alarming abusers, however, are the victim’s own family.  I think this is the most disquieting aspect of this crime because such innocent trust is placed in those we love so much.  Perhaps that is why this commandment was included so prominently!

Having been responsible for an elderly relative’s financial situation I can attest to how difficult this can be. There is a fine balance between being respectful and supportive while counterbalancing often incomprehensible requests due to varying emotional states compounded by memory loss and other challenges.

Behrendt suggest the following warning signs that may indicate some type of abuse is occurring (quoting):

  • Sudden or unexplained changes in spending habits.
  • Surrendering control of finances to a new friend or partner.
  • Suddenly changing a will, trust or beneficiary designations.
  • Unexplained checks made out to cash, or unexplained loans.
  • Unexplained disappearance of assets (cash, valuables, securities, etc.).
  • Signs of anxiety or fear when asked about finances.

He suggests some other protective actions we can take including (quoting here):

  • Stay connected and involved with older family and friends.
  • Encourage seniors to use automatic bill payment services.
  • Shred financial statements instead of discarding in trash.
  • Contact the National Do-Not-Call Registry at www.donotcall.gov.
  • Never send money to someone you don’t know.
  • Do not give personal information over the phone.
  • Create a valid durable power of attorney.
  • Organize and store important legal and financial records.
  • Itemize and safeguard valuables and collectibles.
  • Request and review a free credit report annually.
  • Check references of caregivers and service providers.
  • Be wary of all unsolicited offers of any kind.
  • When in doubt, get a second opinion of a trusted friend or advisor.
  • Assemble a trusted team that includes a financial advisor, an attorney, an accountant, etc.

Our work family at A. Alliance is a pretty close-knit bunch.  Family is a word often used when we relate to each other.  Unfortunately, we see the financial damage crimes like this can do to unsuspecting people.  As we age we are well reminded to “Honor thy Father and thy Mother” as we will likely be in this vulnerable spot ourselves someday. 

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.