Can You Hear Me Now? Reaching Problem Listeners

Our school district just finished up its fall parent conferences.  Since our oldest graduated from high school last year, however, I no longer pay as much attention.  I admit that I don’t particularly miss conferences, although they were usually upbeat and positive.  We made it a point to bring our kids along and I think that made a big difference:  increased confidence when things were good, and direct feedback from the teacher to the student when a mid-course correction was necessary. 

I think that last point was particularly important in terms of ensuring that a teacher’s message was heard and understood loud and clear.  Nothing like eliminating the middleman (in this case a parent) to effectively drive home a point.

When I stumbled on the subject for this blog, however, I recalled one particular conference which involved listening. 

Our kids, you see, are generally quiet.  In just about every conference I could count on the teachers saying: “Your grades are fine. But you are so quiet!”  That was usually the one and only comment that was consistent throughout the years.  I recall one conference, however, where the teacher probed a bit.  “Why are you so quiet? Is there something wrong?”

“No, nothing is wrong,” said our daughter.  “I am just listening.”

There was an awkward moment of silence and then the teacher basically said “Well, then, keep up the good work.” 

Asking about it later I was told that it was very hard to listen in the classroom because of all the interruptions and, frankly, many of the other students were just not good listeners.  Not surprising, this makes learning that much harder, and in the adult world work more challenging, especially if the person you are trying to work with is not a good listener.

One thing I have found over the years is that trying to change a person and make them a better listener is not easy.  Yet, are there some things that we can do to help improve the process?

I came on a great article in the Harvard Business Review by Rebecca Knight titled “How to Work with a Bad Listener.”  In it she offers tips on some things we can do to help get our messages through to problem listeners.  In addition to her own insights she interviewed Sabina Nawaz, (a global CEO and executive coach) and Christine Riordan, (president of Adelphi University and a leadership coach).  Here are some suggestions they offered to improve the process:

  • Consider work styles:  Is your colleague visual or verbal?  Adapt to their preferred style of communication to be more effective.
  • Reflect on your own behavior:  Is there something in your own style that detracts from the message? Too rambling?  Too detailed? Should you use stories to illustrate your point?  Look in the mirror!
  • Demonstrate empathetic listening:  Turn the tables and try to understand your co-worker’s point of view.  Understand your audience and “what’s in it for them.”
  • Highlight the magnitude of your message:  Right up front emphasize how important the information you want to convey is to the listener. 
  • Create accountability:  Make sure the message is received by creating and documenting how the listener is accountable for an action or outcome of the conversation.  This can be particularly helpful for those who tend to ‘forget’ easily.
  • Show concern:  If your colleague is overly busy and distracted, politely suggest they deal with the distractions or conflicts and arrange a better time to talk when you can have their full attention.
  • Address the problem directly: Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point, be direct and organized. If the listening problem is acute, seek another, more formal, solution.
  • Propose a ‘social contract’: If the problem is a real road block, work to agree on a ‘social contract’ to create more formal expectations on how you will interact.  I have worked with social contracts before, and while often difficult to negotiate and implement, can pay dividends in creating a framework for behavior that everyone can live by.

Her article also included additional case studies on how to put these principles to work. You can find the full article here.

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners. Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.

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Password Incorrect: Wait…What Just Happened Here?

I received that message again just the other day: Password Incorrect. 

I don’t know about you, but for a moment that message kind of locks me up.  Some passwords are easy to remember as I use them frequently.  Others, not so much.  Sometimes my mind is on auto-pilot and I mistakenly enter another password I frequently use and it does not work.  When that happens, and I cannot recall the right one (brain lock?), I usually fumble around a bit before I find the right one.

Remembering passwords has become even harder in the past few years as companies have implemented even more complex strategies to create ‘hack-proof’ security for customer accounts.  The use of special characters, numbers, upper case, lower case, no use of any prime number (kidding on this last one), and so on, make remembering them all virtually impossible. 

Experts caution us about how we save passwords. Yet, we are urged to change them frequently.  Well, those of you blessed with a much better memory than mine are probably doing just fine. However, in my case, I find myself concerned about saving the password in a bad place and then just waiting for that supreme hack that will rob us of all we own, our children and grandchildren, and our emotional security for generations to come.  Not a pretty picture.

That said, I came upon an article in CNET the other day that essentially tells us that the methodology we have been encouraged to use to create our passwords for maximum security are now basically, well, ineffective. 

Say that again?

Apparently setting up complex passwords comprised of random characters and symbols is not as effective as, say, setting up a password you make up with identifiable and simple characters.

Mind you, I am not talking about using ‘12345’ or ‘password,’ but much less complex and cumbersome than those we are challenged to create today.

Where did this opinion come from?  No less an authority than the so called “father of the modern password,” Bill Burr.

In an article titled “Father of passwords regrets the advice he gave,” CNET writer Chris Matyszczyk writes that Mr. Burr recently has had a change of heart as to what comprises an effective password.

In 2003 Burr recommended that passwords should be made up of an entirely random string of letters and symbols.  This was the best way known then to minimize the chance of a hacker guessing a password.

He has changed his opinion, however, and “It turned out that these are easier for hackers to crack than, say, weird words that you can actually remember. Like ‘gobbledegook.’ Or ‘nincompoop.’”  Please don’t use these, though, as they are only examples from Mr. Matyszczyk.

Why the change of heart?  According to Matyszczyk “Over the years, people seem to have used similar techniques to create their ‘random’ combinations, which made them actually less random.”

Well, then.

Matyszczyk says that we should not be too hard on Mr. Burr.  I agree.  When he wrote that opinion who would have guessed the level of constant hacking that goes on every day, and how successful so much of it is? Random strings of letters and numbers certainly seemed logical and safe.

What to do?

Certainly, do not use simple and easy to guess passwords.  Most sites and apps still require password content to conform to their standards.  We don’t have much choice if the password is required to be complex and as random as possible.

At A. Alliance we pride ourselves on the security of our systems and the protocols we use to protect our client’s data and secure access to our systems. We utilize multiple layers of security to ensure data integrity and do encourage our clients to change their passwords with some regularity and of course advise us when users change and new access credentials need to be created.  However, it is good to know that we can potentially create easier to remember personal passwords that are more secure than originally thought.  Password security, it would seem, does not always go hand in hand with complexity and inconvenience.

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded innorthern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.

Using a Financial Road Map: Tracking your Personal Spending

I was going through the contents of the glove box of our family vehicle the other day.  There—how quaint! —was a road map.  It was very worn, tattered in fact, evidence of the number of family trips we made over the years.  I spent a few minutes unfolding it and then tracing out the highways and side roads we followed.  Lots of miles!  Many good memories.  I then tried to fold it back up again and failing miserably tossed it in the recycle.

I am among those delighted with the advances in personal navigation.  I think maps are great, though, because they show so much detail of the land and geography.  Yes, I know that is nerdy but so I am.

That said I am among the converted when it comes to reliance on GPS.  How did we ever get along without it? 

I recall my first maps app, and of course there was a learning curve. I recall once setting it to follow the shortest route instead of fastest and wound up with a rather extended drive (albeit beautiful) from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania to Pittsburgh.  I recall the beauty of driving through the mountains but we had to wake the kids when we finally arrived at our hotel much later than planned.  So it goes.

Yet the law of unintended consequences does not stop because of the essential usefulness of technology. Have you noticed lately that in addition to distractions from driving while texting there seems to be an increase in distractions caused by driving by GPS?

No less than three times this last week drivers ahead of me have gone from the left turn lane, all the way to the right (or vice versa), across several lanes of traffic, basically ignoring oncoming traffic.  Sometimes I have noticed drivers who stop in the middle of the street looking about confused and then looking back to their GPS or phone.  A friend of mine swears one of their employees drove onto a lake (it was winter and it was frozen) because the dang thing told him to. 

I know the feeling.  “Greta Google” as I call the voice on “Google Maps” is commanding and I admit to feeling that momentary confusion as ‘she’ gives me a command that does not exactly compute.

But I digress.

All this is leading up to a question as to whether or not you track your spending each month or like most Americans you just sort of wing it without a road map?

I don’t have a recommended roadmap for you, but there are all sorts of tools and apps available to help budget and track your expenses.  I know I use one and find it very helpful in keeping track of where our hard-earned money goes.

If you do track your expenses, how do you fare compared to an ‘average’ American family?

The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports this is how an average American’s spending breaks down:

  • Average Household Income (pretax):                     $74,664
  • Average Annual Expenditures:                                 
    • Housing:                                                       $18,186 32.9%
    • Transportation:                                             $ 9,049                  15.8%
    • Food:                                                            $ 7,203                  12.6%
    • Personal insurance and Pensions:            $ 6,831                  11.9%
    • Healthcare:                                                  $ 4,612                  8.1%
    • Entertainment:                                             $ 2,913                  5.1%
    • Cash contributions:                                      $ 2,081                  3.6%
    • Apparel and Service:                                   $ 1,803                  3.1%
    • All other expenditures:                                 $ 3,933                  6.9%

An article posted on CNBC by Kathleen Elkins points out that only 1 in 3 Americans track their spending.  She also points out that we spend 61% of our money on the top three categories: housing, transportation and food. 

Does keeping track of spending help manage our finances better?  According to Elkins, keeping track of, and minimizing, spending, especially in the top three categories, can pay big dividends in the future. She cites one couple who built a $1 million portfolio by age 40 and a 26-year-old who banked $150,000 by age 24.  That is real money!

Now, not all of us can do this in quite the same way but having a financial road map can certainly smooth the road a bit and help keep us off the rocky back roads of life.   

 A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 14 years.  

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