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The Lost Art of Conversation. Help is on the Way!

February 28, 2018 Lisa Brammer

I am a talker. If you’ve ever met me, you already know this. Growing up it was always the first thing my teachers would say about me during parent/teacher conferences. “Lisa sure likes to talk!”  At first when I heard them (and others!) say this—usually with a smile on their faces—I thought it was an attribute.  As I got older I realized it was also a curse, not only for people around me, but for me too. Since listening is not something that comes naturally for me, I’ve had to work hard at honing this skill and I’m always looking for new ways to improve my conversing (read listening) techniques.

Last week I came across a TED talk called 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee. Thinking I might learn something from it, I watched the video. I’m glad I did! It’s chuck-full of lots of great information and suggestions:

According to Pew Research one-third of teenagers send more than 100 texts a day. And more than half of them are more likely to text their friends than talk to them face to face.

Honestly, this statistic doesn’t really surprise me, but the ramifications are alarming.  Here’s an analogy I came up with from my take-away: Todays typing is to cursive handwriting as texting is to real-time conversational skills. Not that I care that much about cursive, just saying…

A few years ago, Paul Barnwell wrote an article regarding this in The Atlantic.  In it he wrote, “Conversational competence might be the single most overlooked skill we fail to teach.”  Uh-oh!

Sounds like I’m not the only one who could benefit from watching Headlee’s TED talk. It seems the Post-Millennial generation (aka iGeneration) is going to have their conversational work cut out for them as they make their way into the workforce.  But as we all know by having conversations of our own, they aren’t alone.

Here are Headlee’s 10 suggestions:

  1. Don’t multitask

Be present in the moment (easier said than done) but if you are going to be part of a conversation, be in it!

 

  1. Don’t pontificate

If you want to have your thoughts known without a response, argument, or growth, write a blog. Enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn. Listening requires setting aside oneself.

 

  1. Use open ended questions

Use words like: who, what, when, where, and how.  What was it like? How did you feel? That will get them thinking and answering with more than one word sentences.

 

  1. Go with the flow

        When thoughts enter your mind, let them go or else you will focus on those thoughts instead of what is being said.  Side note: This one is extremely difficult for me. When someone says something that reminds me of a story of my own, I have a hard time not just blurting it out instead of letting it go and listening to theirs!

 

  1. If you don’t know. Say you don’t know

       

  1. Don’t equate your experience with theirs

        All experiences are different. Just because you had a similar experience doesn’t mean you know how they felt.  Don’t make this about you.       Me again: I do this, but not because I want to make it about me, but because I think it’s a way to form a connection.  Isn’t sharing common experiences why support groups are formed?  Don’t people want to know they aren’t alone in what they are going though?  I wonder what other people think, yay or nay?

 

  1. Try not to repeat yourself

        When we feel strongly about something we often make the same point over and over, sometimes using other words, sometimes the same words over and over.  Yes, that’s me.  Right kids?

 

  1. Stay out of the weeds

        No one cares about the dates, times, or places.  You know that minutia you are having a hard time coming up with? No one cares.

 

  1. Listen

        Most important skill. When your mouth is open you are not learning. Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People said, “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.”   Ouch!  I wish I could say I don’t do this, but I do.

 

  1. Be brief

        Celeste quotes her sister here, “A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.”

 

Be interested in other people. Listen to what they have to say, then be prepared to be amazed.

Okay, I’ve got my mouth shut and my ears wide open.  Amaze me!

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 12 years.

 

Time is Money When it Comes to Effective Revenue Recovery!

February 21, 2018 Mark Hammerstrom

“Do not put off until tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.” –Mark Twain

Do you procrastinate? Ok, you don’t have to answer that. I will for you. Of course you do. We all do. I certainly know I do. Just ask my wife about the paint job for our master bath! And the drippy kitchen sink. And the weeds in the lawn…well, you know.

Yet, isn’t it a great feeling to finally face that not so fun task that has been on your ‘do’ list for months, complete it and cross it off? The reward of a feeling of accomplishment—a job well done—is terrific. Of course it is usually followed by the realization that had we simply done it sooner the building stress that comes from putting things off would have gone away much sooner and in its place we could have been doing things which we find much more pleasant.

There are lots of definitions for procrastination, none of them particular complimentary to us who do. I am partial to Twain’s quote, but let’s face it that won’t feed the bulldog!

Generally speaking, procrastination is when we substitute one activity we prefer for one we do not. As a result the one we like gets done fast while the other, perhaps even more important task, is moved farther and farther away. Like blog posting when the sales forecast is due! And there are certainly no limits to the distractions we all have right here on our desktop.

To maximize the effectiveness of revenue recovery and delinquent account collections procrastination can be costly. There is an old saw in the business which goes: “The older they are the farther they go.” There is much to that, and may impact your recovery rates dramatically if you are not able to manage your delinquent placements on a timely basis.

We realize delinquent account recovery is a serious business, but sometimes it is easier to believe if the accounts just sit there sooner or later the debtor will pay directly without third party intervention. The fact of the matter is that even with the most optimistic perspective that does not happen very often. There is a direct and inverse proportion between age of an account and prompt debt collection.

So what do you do?

• If the elephant is big, just take one bite. Even if it is just a single account send it on! That takes one more thing off your desk and starts our process of recovery right away.
• Prioritize your day and make those less desirable tasks something you handle first thing. That way, you have a fresh perspective and fewer interruptions as the day goes on.
• First things first: Keep a manageable and organized task list. When our ‘do’ lists get too big or too detailed it is easy to get disorganized, discouraged and distracted. Review your list early in the day and rework your daily priorities focusing on the top three to maximize your use of time.
• Make sure your delinquent accounts are turned over as soon as possible. The sooner we get them, the sooner we start the process and the higher probability you will receive timely collection of your debt.
• Things don’t change unless you recognize there is a problem. If your priorities keep getting pushed off for the next day, take a close look at how you use your time. Are there unnecessary distractions which get in the way of tackling the hard ones?
• Reward yourself when a task you don’t like is done! There is nothing wrong with patting yourself on the back when you get something done, especially if it is a task you were not looking forward to handling. Take a break, or spend a few minutes on those other more pleasant tasks which would have normally been distracting you.

At A. Alliance we strive to make your interactions with us as easy and straightforward as possible. In an increasingly complex world, keeping things simple is a goal we strive for every day. Can we help? Let us know. We are here to serve you.

A. Alliance Collection Agency, Inc. is a full service, licensed accounts receivable management and debt collection agency providing highly effective, customized one on one management and recovery solutions for our business partners.  Founded in northern Illinois in 2005, we have been proudly improving the bottom-line on behalf of our business partners in and around Chicagoland for over 10 years.

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The Best Things in Life are Free

February 14, 2018 Lisa Brammer

Last week, I posted a blog that explored the age-old question: Can money buy love? According to the results of a NerdWallet survey, there seems to be a correlation between love and money.  Another survey on the subject conducted by eHarmony reported the same conclusion.

Here’s the thing, there is no denying that (more) money can make life easier and less stressful. And I’ll even concede, as the surveys say, that in general people are more attracted to others with money, but is that love?

As I was exploring the depth of the connection between love and money, or, for that matter, between money and happiness, I found many articles contradicting the survey results reported above.  For example, there is an old Chinese proverb that touches on the subject.  It goes something like this:

With money you can buy a house, but not a home.

With money you can buy a clock, but not time.

With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep….

It goes on and on, but you get the point.

Award winning author, Frank Sonnenberg, also spent some time on the subject and compiled an amazing list of 50 things money can’t buy. The website, powerofpositivity.com also has a list along with a myriad of other sites. Reading what they came up with has really been inspiring.

Here are twenty-five of my favorite things that cannot be bought:

  1.  Respect/ both giving and getting
  2. Manners/having class
  3.  Common sense
  4. A clear conscience
  5. Integrity
  6. Trust
  7. True friends
  8. Close-knit family
  9. Peace of mind
  10. Patience
  11. Good karma
  12. Talent
  13. Wisdom
  14. Happy memories
  15. A good reputation
  16. Sense of Humor/laughter
  17. Appreciation of the simple things
  18. Justice
  19. Proper perspective
  20. Selflessness
  21. An open mind
  22. A positive attitude
  23. True love
  24. Good health
  25. A happy home

I have to admit, as I was writing my list I had a hard time limiting it to just twenty-five.  There are so many extremely important things that cannot be bought, but this is not to say these things are mutually exclusive.  Wealthy people can also have these things. If you are a person who is on a quest to have lots of money, good for you. But please do not lose sight of what’s truly important.

What’s on your list?

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